Testimony of Alcohol Addiction - John Bailey

John Bailey speaking to the Parents of Prodigals support group.

In Aug. of 2020 John just celebrated 41 years in Recovery and want to encourage Parents of Prodigals to share with other parents and families about support your son or daughter or other family members about addiction and Alcoholism.

Recovery is a We program, not just for the addict or Alcoholic but it effects all members of the family. My personal testimony is not just about being Sober for 41 years but being a good husband, father, grandfather and a clean good member of society.

This can only happen by living “One Day at a Time” and sharing my Experience, Strength and Hope to others. This only happens because I have a personal relationship with my Higher Power Jesus Christ and pray each day and have an attitude of gratitude to share with other about Living Sober.

Notes from John’s testimony:

Background

People that I know and people that I sponsor they might get one year and celebrate. The first year is always difficult for a lot of people. I got sober in Houston tx. I'm originally from the suburbs of Cleveland, OH. I'm a US Navy veteran during the Vietnam crisis. My father passed away when he was 50 years old, and I was 23. 

Alcohol helped me felt like I belonged

This disease called alcoholism kicked my tires. I had my first cocktail at age 13. Even though I was close to the "in" group in high school, I never felt like I was really in that group. I was in the circle looking out. When I look back at that first opportunity to taste liquor, I realized that that's when I felt better and felt like I belonged. Everyone wants to be in "in" group, whatever that is. 

I grew up a Christian for the first 22 years, and after that I only went on Christmas, Easter, and Thanksgiving. I caught the bug of loving alcohol. My parents had liquor in the basement, and I would let my friends borrow some of those beverages when they came over to play ping pong. When I got into business and sales, my social skills helped because I had to entertain people at lunch time, happy hour, and early evening. 

Removing the stigma of being an alcoholic

For a long period of time, I'd make the statement, "I'm probably an alcoholic" but I thought alcoholics were those people who were homeless, that lived under the bridge, that didn't have a job. Alcoholism is for anybody: doctors, lawyers, ministers, nurses, teachers, brothers, sisters, husbands, wives, moms, dads, aunts, uncles, or cousins. Back in those days, you'd have "cooties" if you were an alcoholic. 

Back in those days there weren't a lot of recovery centers. The community and society make the people who struggle with alcoholism feel "less than" which has hindered people from getting the help that they need. Today there are centers and programs all over the country where you can go and get help and dry out for long term or short term. 

Rededication to Christ

I went to my pastor in Houston. I had joined Second Baptist Church, and the singles pastor there, Bryant Wright, was the same pastor that founded the church we go to today here in Georgia (Johnson Ferry Baptist Church). He started a singles organization with 76 people and grew it to 2500. That was the social setting for the city of Houston. A lot of young professionals attended. I got baptized. That was one of the greatest things I did for my personal spiritual journey. But I was still drinking. I had this big black hole in my gut, and I said I rededicated my life to Christ, I was in a men's Bible Study. I was doing all the surface things that you do when you are on fire for God. 

Recovery with AA

I can't mention the name of Jesus at any AA meeting because they talk about a "higher power." AA is a spiritual journey. A lot of the sermon on the mount is in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous. A lot of people don't want to join AAA because they think it's a religion. It's not a cult either. It's a recovery organization. It works if you let it work. 

Alcoholics don't see their own behavior

I told my pastor that I had rededicated my life to Christ, my life is going along okay, I've got a good job, make good money, got a house, two cars. Everything is going good on the surface but I was miserable. My mentoring pastor said to me, "John, you like Chardonnay and Cabernet better than ice water." He saw my behavior. Alcoholics don't see their own behavior. The calamity in their life, they don't see it. They say, "It's y'all's fault" 

I learned to love me

I knew what alcoholism was, but I wasn't one of those. I had a job. I had responsibility. Me, an alcoholic? But I was. But I'm in recovery now and it has been a long journey. In my quiet time I think God this morning with an attitude of gratitude and wondered how can I serve you today. And how can I help somebody else? I can help someone else by sharing my journey, my strength, and my hope. I have never gotten anyone sober. I sponsor people. I use my alcoholism as a vehicle to help people get in recovery, stay in recovery, and grow in recovery. Recovery helped me love and like me so that I can love and like others. I actually learned to love me. For years I could never measure up to my mom's standards, and we never got a long. Drinking helped me numb those feelings. 

What's normal anyway?

Do you know what the only thing normal in your household is? The setting on your washing machine. It has a setting called "normal," and that is the only thing normal in your household. We all look good on the outside. We might have a good job, have a good family, go to church. 

“Consider it all joy…”

God did a miracle in me. I thought the ministers were talking to me when there were hundreds of people in the room. I told Bryant Wright about my story. He invited me to a gathering on Galveston beach and the study was on the book of James. This has become my favorite verse in the Bible. James 1:2. It says, "Consider it all joy my brothers when you go through trials..." And boy did I go through trials. 

Importance of Honesty 

Honesty is the first step of the 12 steps. I learn to be honest about it. During the height of my alcoholism I wasn't very honest and I did a lot of bad things. Recovery teaches you in the fourth step to clean up the wreckage of your past. I used to blame everyone else for all of the calamity in my life until I went into recovery. Then I found out I had all these character defects and I wasn't honest all the time. 

My Ministry

Until I quit drinking my relationship with my higher power who I called Jesus Christ was not real. He's used my recovery and my tenure in recovery as a ministry to help other people, sons and daughters get sober. There's where the victory is. 40 years was a big deal, but I had to wake up the next day, have my prayer time, be grateful, and I've had to learn to live one day at a time. 

One Day at a Time

The percentage of people staying sober in AA is very small, less than 5%. I've met some of the finest people in recovery. When I got promoted again to Newport Beach California. We had recovery meetings on Balboa Island. Famous people come into my home group, people that you would see on television. They were movie stars and sports figures. People you admire in the sitcoms. And they're sitting in the chair talking about their experience and their strength and their hope. They were alcoholics. But it's a safe place because AA was anonymous. I never had to go to a recovery center. I just did it one day at a time, one month at a time one year at a time. 

Addictions are more common than you think

But when I gave my testimony to a group of deacons, 29 guys called me next month who were dealing with pornography because of the internet, dealing with cocaine, dealing with excess drinking, dealing with cheating on their wife. Now these are deacons, ordained people who are supposed to be above reproach and have a clean lifestyle. Out of the 29, only 3 humbled themselves and sought recovery. They are doing better. They're families are reconnected. They're doing the next right thing. They got rid of a lot of baggage they were dealing with. Recovery teaches you to live one day at a time and worry about today. 

Closing

I'm honored to speak to the Parents of Prodigals group. Part of my ministry is to speak to the parents, and the families, and the sons and daughters, the husbands and wives, who have drinking problems. I work with them and get them engaged in recovery. A lot of people are afraid and don't want to talk about it. In Houston I had a gorgeous wife of 16 years. The first eight years was great. We would drink together. Our lifestyle was going to fancy dinners, and I would meet with clients and drinking was always part of it. I was a functional drunk. I never got a DUI. Never got stopped by the police. 

It was the day that the ministered told me that I liked Chardonnay better than ice water. I got mad, but then later I got down on my knees and rededicated my life to Christ again, and here we are again. I'm a person in recovery living one day at a time, and sometimes one minute at a time. Through my relationship with Jesus, I can stop, pray quietly, and start my day over. I'm not as angry and judgmental and self centered as I used to be.